Parents and children should be able to talk sex well. But in fact, sex is one of the topics that are rarely talked about. The erroneous view of sex is often an obstacle and makes parents feel uncomfortable, and fearful, and hesitant and feel less useful for talking about sex. Therefore, changing the view of sex will help parents and children to talk about sex in a better way.
Below are some false points of view about sex:
1. Sex is a taboo.
In Genesis 1: 27-31, God sees everything He made was very good, including sex. God does not view sex as taboo but as sacred. So the talk about sex is not a taboo, it should be a holy conversation. We should talk about sex in respect not as mockery, jokes, swearing oaths, or negative things. Sex talk should be a natural discussion as well as reasonable health talk (toothbrush, clean bath, and body hygiene), topics of manners and daily life
2. Sex education is the responsibility of church and school.
Many parents who have this point of view give the responsibility of sex education to church or school. This is not right because in reality schools or churches often only discuss about sex in seminars, workshops, or a particular subject. Is that enough? Imagine sex is only discussed to children once a year and only a few hours. This is certainly not enough to help them in understanding sex in a healthy way. Finally, many children are looking for an understanding of sex on the internet and friends. It should be realized that parents hold the greatest responsibility and portion in cultivating a healthy understanding of sex in children. Because the understanding of sex should be given in everyday life and they need example, where the person who can do both things are parents. This can be also seen in the results of the survey presented at the 88th Annual Conference of the Canadian Pediatric Society, 45% of teenagers make parents as role models in terms of sexuality (Metro TV News, 2011). Therefore, parents should begin to realize that there is nothing better in teaching children about sex than themselves.
3. Talking about sex too early is not safe. The more the children know the more dangerous.
Many parents are afraid that if they discuss about sex too early, the children will mature too quickly and they will be inspired to try the sexual activities. We have to realize that all children have high curiosity about sex, what make it difference is whether their parents or their environment fulfill their curiosity. Parents surely do the right and the healthy explanation about sex while the environment does not. Unhealthy sources from environment are, for example, movies, comics, and games which contain sensuality from the way they dress, romance and also sexual activity.
Whether it is too early or not is not the problem, but how we give our children the right understanding about sex. If the parents feel that they do not have enough knowledge about sex then it is recommended for them to read books or consult with children counselor or psychologist.
4. Children will know sex by themselves.
The survey of Kaiser Family Foundation in 1998, for the children of 10-12 years, 43 % of them were curious about the right time for sex and 50% of parents never talked about it to their children. This survey showed that children need special discussion with their parents. Don’t be surprised if they discuss it with less trusted people like, maids, drivers, friends or even strangers.
5. It is better not talk about sex because I and my children are not comfortable.
Solving the discomfort between parent and children in talking about the subject of sex is not by avoiding it. However, parents should be proactive in creating a comfortable atmosphere. This convenience can be started when parents learns to feel comfortable in discussing the subject of sex with his/her partner.
6. Parents are afraid to make mistakes when talking about sex, so it is better not talking about it.
Afraid of making mistake is common for parents in discussing sex with their children. But it does not mean that the topic cannot be discussed. Parents need to increase their knowledge and understanding about sex education. They should develop a better and healthy way to discuss the topic with their children day by day.
The development of a children sex life is influenced by the views and understandings of their parents of sex itself. Changes and increased parental understanding about better sex day by day will have an immediate effect on the child’s sex life. Therefore, nothing is more beautiful and efficacious in building a child’s sex life than parental changes first.